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Editorial | Characterize TPN offices as Halloween candy

Trick or treat, smell our feet, bring something good to eat to The Pitt News editorial board in room 434 on the fourth floor of the William Pitt Union. From our diary to you, Happy Halloween!

Today is the day to binge on sweets and wear silly little costumes which, if worn at any other time of year, can get you escorted off the premises. We look at you with the condom disguise – even if it’s for a good cause. Whatever you do and however you plan to dress, stay safe and entertained with the candy from the Pitt News editorial board assigned to our offices.

Culture: Pop Rock

What kind of sweets do educated people eat? Well, according to The Pitt News Editorial, it’s Pop Rocks! This childhood favorite is a perfect pick for the culture desk because it’s bubbly – well, more static than anything else – and a treat you probably don’t get very often, just like a trip to the symphony. , to the ballet or to the art gallery.

Copy: Almond Joy

Almond Joys aren’t for everyone, but if you can appreciate a classic candy that balances sweetness and crunch, we hope you’re someone who also appreciates good grammar and AP Style formatting. It’s a grainy job – like coconut filling – but without Copy, TPN wouldn’t be as smooth.

News: Sour Patch Kids

The short stories are sour and sometimes sweet, just like Sour Patch Kids. The News Desk constantly has an influx of stories that touch our hearts or bring us to tears, just like the Sour Patch Kids who torment people in the advertising. But then they produce a story about bird watching Where therapy dogs and we suddenly forget when that collapsed bridge in Fern Hollow. Sour, sweet, gone… on to the next title that is.

Visuals: Kit Kat

Nothing is more satisfying than capturing a beautifully sharp photo, except taking a bite out of a crispy, chocolatey Kit Kat wafer. The same crunch that exists in Visual Desk images is also present in this delicious candy. How could we resist?!

Sports: Snickers

Most people love Snickers – it’s an American staple, just like our country’s love for the sport. And ever since Snickers aired it’s betty white 2010 Super Bowl commercial which kicked off a slew of celebrity appearances in their commercials, it’s fair to attribute Snickers to the sport.

Digital: Bowling

The pins are bright and shiny, as is the digital desk. If you pour candy into your hand, you can’t be sure what combination will come out of it, much like the blog list of the week, but you can never be disappointed. Skittles like to keep it fresh with all their flavor varieties, as does Digital.

Social Media: Chocolate Covered Raisins

Most people will agree that raisins aren’t candy, but once the chocolate is added, we start to get into uncertain territory. Just as no definitive answer exists on this subject, so does the “desktop” of social media. Can a one-person team that only writes captions on TPN’s social media accounts be considered an office? Well, we’re not sure, but we’ll keep Charlie around.

Review: Hot Tamales

Opinions has pretty hot grips and passes with the punches. For this reason and because of their fiery passion, the Hot Tamales seem to be the best fit for this office. Hot Tamales may not be for everyone, but neither are opinions – and that’s okay. We think they’re pretty cool, or should I say, hot?

Editor-in-Chief and Editor-in-Chief: Twix

Until the ridiculous marketing campaign that split Twix from left to right, everyone knew Twix as the delicious, crowd-pleasing duo. Now, we can’t say we’ll always be okay with the edits we get, but nonetheless, the Editor and Editor will surely satisfy all of TPN’s needs, just like a Twix will satisfy your candy cravings. .

Honorable Mention — Harry Kloman: Injera Bread Pudding

Is our pick for TPN’s beloved adviser a candy bar? No. Is it at least Halloween themed? No either, but that’s the best we can do considering Ethiopian food has no sweets or desserts. This dish comes recommended by Harry himself though, so we figured he’d approve.